I finished my MBA Degree!

I had been away for more than a year... Apologies.

At the age of 50, I decided to take my MBA (Masters of Business Administration) from Arcadia University of Pennsylvania at their Singapore Campus. After giving it much thought and after looking at my bank account- yes, I decided to take my MBA. And I finished it with flying colors. Juggling work, family and school- it was not easy. But I did it!

Looking back, I relocated to Singapore soon after I quit my MBA studies in the Philippines. It was something I didn't regret because after 10 years, I knew that even without it I had progressed well. Without an MBA (but with degrees in Psychology and Law) my responsibilities still increased from South East Asia to Asia, South Africa and now, Asia-Oceania (over-seeing an HR organization responsible for 16,500 people).

What made me decide to study again at the age of 50, when I am already at the height of my career in HR?

First, I want to finish an unfinished business. I started my MBA at the Ateneo Business School in the Philippines way back in 1999 but because of my promotion from a Country HR role to a South East Asian HR role, I quit. Travelling had been too much and HR projects really kept me away from my school assignments and classroom lessons. I have no choice but to change my priorities. I told myself "Let go of MBA, take the opportunities in your HR career." I was so sad when I let go however, I told myself that time will come that I would pick it up again and finish it. Never had I started something that I had not finished. So in July 2010, I started my MBA again in Singapore (again from zero, because the subjects I took in the Philippines were already obsolete).

Second, I want to put up my own business when I retire from my HR employment. And because I want to be a good and smart entrepreneur, I thought an MBA will help me.

So is MBA indeed my obsession? Maybe. I know I need it. I took it as a preparation for my semi-retirement when I can be my own boss. That's why I paid for my own MBA, I did it for my own use, not for my employer :-)

I have no regrets. I learned a lot, I gained lots of friends and widened my network, and I passed with flying colors. A GPA of 3.53/4.00 who could ask for more?

Tooth Implants gone bad

In my previous posts, I mentioned that I had been feeling quite sick the past weeks. That was also the reason why, aside from being busy at work, I was unable to post blogs though I have lots of interesting things in my head to think about.

The past weeks when I felt like having a flu,I felt a pain in the left part of my neck and also pain behind my left ear. I also had stiff shoulder muscles. I had migraine and even elevated blood pressure and therefore when I visited my physician, she gave me some relaxant and suspected that I was just stressed at work.

Then I decided to visit a dentist and complained to him all the things I had been feeling. He did a CT scan and it revealed that one of my two tooth implants which were done 2 years ago was not done properly and was infected. He advised me to remove it. The problem I had was that it's crown was a part of a bridge which was attached to a healthy tooth and the crown of the other implant.

I went to another dentist and a third dentist for a second and third opinion... both gave me the same advise as the first one. The infected tooth implant should be removed as it was already affecting my nerves and muscles, etc. Now I know the real reason why I had been feeling sick lately.

To make the long story short, I had just came back from the dental surgeon who removed not only one implant but both. After removing the first infected implant, he found out the other one beside it was also showing some signs of infection and therefore he advised me to remove it to and I agreed. The dentist cleaned the jaw bone area where the implants were once located and also put some bone graft on the pits before stitching my gums close. The process though not painful during the surgery is now giving me pain. Thanks to the scalpel used by the dentist to open my gums just to remove the implants.

I am yet to talk to or maybe sue the dentist who did my "former" tooth implants two years ago. But while I am still thinking of how I would do it, I just wrote this blog to warn individuals not to just listen to or trust dentists who would advise you to have tooth implants. Think and study it first and ask around on the pros and cons. One thing important is also to look at the record of the dentist, because a few of them are just pretending and collecting big sums of money from clients who they know could afford to pay. This world is really not free from cons who take advantage of people;s trust just to earn money- and we could find them in whatever profession.

For anybody who would like to communicate with me on what actually happened and how and why my implants had gone bad, please feel free to leave me a comment and your email address so I could communicate with you the details. They were just too much to be written on this blog.

I am now on 5 days medical leave, recovering from the (quite a major) dental surgery at home with the help of antibiotics, anti-swelling tabs and pain relievers.

After recovering from this, I will have a temporary denture while thinking of whether I would still do another new set of implants after the failed ones or will just replace my temporary dentures with permanent ones. God please help me to decide!

Very busy and very stressed!

I feel so sad and bothered that I was not able to write my blogs the past weeks. I was down with a bit of flu-like syndrome and felt so exhausted.

I went to my favorite lady physician at the Raffles Executive Medical Centre and she thought I was extremely stressed. My BP was also slightly elevated (which came as a surprise for me because I am a health buff who watches what I eat and also exercises regularly).

I knew it was because of stress at work. My physician explained to me that stress may manifest itself through muscle pains, sleeplessness, exhaustion and elevated blood pressure amongst others. My oh my, I felt all these manifestations the past weeks.

I had been very busy at work that everytime I went home, I just drop like a log but on the contrary, I could not sleep well.

Well, that was two weeks ago... My doctor gave me some relaxant pills, gave me a certification to take a few days off from work and advised me to slow down. She was quite worried about my elevated BP so she advised me to monitor it morning and evening for two weeks.

I followed all her advise.I slowed down at work, took my "relaxing"tablets and tried to sleep well, and for the past two week-ends I tried to unwind as much as I could.

I went to Banyan Tree resort the other weekend with my son. We rented our own villa on the hill (overlooking the beach) and enjoyed the serenity of the surroundings, the beach, the food and our own jacuzzi amongst others. We also spent some time in the gym and the pool.

In addition, just last weekend, I flew back to my hometown to attend the alumni homecoming of my highschool (Class 76). I did that just to meet my former classmates, reconnect with them, recollect our teen-age years and just enjoy remembering happy memories of our innocence, naiveness, silly activities and adventurous learning.

Now I came back to work refreshed and feeling motivated. The past working days this week still offer lots of things to do, deadlines to meet, issues to resolve... but i noticed my mind has been clear so far and my logical, skillful thoughts just enable me to make decisions and take actions to make them go away.

Lesson I learned? To listen when my body speaks... If it is giving signals that I am already showing signs of being burned out, I should stop for a while or relax.

Our brain is indeed like a sponge, if it is already full of stressful thoughts, we need to drain them out before we could start using it again logically and productively.

And our body needs recharging too. We are not like machines whose parts could be changed anytime when they break down. Sure we could replace some parts but not all. And even if we have the money to have our broken parts changed, we do not know where to get the replacements too. Plus, the process could be difficult, if not fatal.

So now I am always telling myself...learn to stop, feel, listen to my body and be my own body's caretaker and best friend. It's the only one we got and we are our own (only)best friend.

Laughing at our past mistakes and bad experiences

I just came back from a night out with my new-found friends. There were 8 of us, all women who are working in HR of different multi-national companies. At 50, I am the eldest of them all and the youngest is one who's 30,about two years younger than my eldest daughter.

I was so delighted that we all connected with each other instantly after starting to network through LinkedIn and word-of mouth. But actually, we did not talk about our jobs... we talked about our lives.

I was so delighted to find that each of us could just share our past mistakes and bad experiences openly with laughter and sense of humour. We seriously picked up learning from each other's stories and were all amazed about life's realities yet we all realized that sharing sad stories openly with no bitterness and shame is a proof of contentment, happiness and wisdom.

In fact, I think we were able to share openly with each other because all of us confidently know that because of what we achieved and where we are now, the past could be forgotten as if they never had happened.

The lesson we had proven? Whatever bad situation you are in will pass. Try to recover from it and strive to be successful. When you are successful, people will see your success and forget about the past.

Happy Mothers' Day!

At 630am today I heard the sound of my phone indicating an sms message, and another one followed, and another and another. I have no choice but to open my eyes and pick up my mobile phone. With sleepy eyes, i tried to read the messages, one after another... they were all Mothers' Day greetings from my husband, my eldest daughter and one of my best friend. Then messages from friends also poured in. Therefore, I thought, it's Mother's Day so I need to greet other mothers I know as well.

So sitting on my bed, I also started to send Mothers' Day greetings to all mothers whom I know. My daughter, my daughter in law, my mother in law, my friends, colleagues, etc..and i realized that i am exchanging greetings with fellow moms like me. We were greeting each other and motivating each other. It was indeed a good feeling, that it's not only our husbands and children who appreciate mothers, mothers appreciate other mothers too.

My two children and a guest, spent today celebrating Mothers' Day. We had buffet lunch, we went to church, shopped and had dinner as well. The church service theme was about Mother's Day, the mall was just full of families together and the restaurants were crowded with mothers with their children and some with grandchildren too. It was a great day. After all, the world still appreciates mothers and everybody knows that mothers are special beings, worthy of appreciation.

But in my mind, if only to give proper credit to all mothers and their role in our lives? it should be mothers' day everyday.

The Reality

As a result of the series of Succession Planning meetings I did late last year with our Country Heads, one developmental area that I saw in few of our key successors is the lack of inter-cultural awareness. Being a multi-national company operating in a multi-cultural region, it is indeed very important for our company to ensure that our key talents, managers and executives know how to work, manage and communicate in a multi-cultural setting. I therefore proposed to introduce coaching for a few individuals who I believe would benefit from it.

This afternoon, me and my boss met up with the coach for a preparatory discussion. The coach requested us for some information about each coachee so we briefed him on the background, characteristics and prevailing issues we are aware of.

The meeting was quite mind-boggling for me. We were asked by the coach about the "hopeful changes" that we want to see in each coachee and that's when I realized that we need to be "critical yet objective" of each. Each coachee is different from the other and that made our discussion quite a difficult one.

But the most difficult partwas when I asked the coach how we could properly communicate the plan to each identified coachee without offending them. All these few identified coachees are very talented and valuable employees who may have a different view of themselves, and the last thing they would appreciate is to be told that they need coaching on areas that they need to improve.

The coach advised us on how to communicate and set the context that will be accepted and appreciated by the coachee and I remembered two major phrases we need to use when communicating to each coachee, the following were just a few excerpts:

"You are doing well in your current job but we want to see you to be more successful in the future. We value you a lot and we want to fully support you to ensure your success with us. We propose that you take on coaching on...."

I asked the coach,"what if they don't believe that they really have some developmental areas?"

The coach answered, "Then you need to let them see their reality."

And "what's that?" I asked.

The coach answered, "For every human being, the reality is how the people around them perceive him or her. If for example everybody perceives a person as "arrogant" then the reality is he is arrogant. If one is perceived as meticulous and difficult to please, then that person is meticulous and difficult to please."

Well, at the end of the meeting, I went to the ladies room, faced the mirror and asked myself, "what about me? how do people around me perceive me?"

I want to know my reality. And tomorrow, I may start asking those close to me to tell me honestly as nobody may readily give me objective feedback than those who care for me.

In that context, I think that each of us need to know our reality, don't you agree?

Wine talk

I had a very, very busy week, it was quite extra-ordinary. But it actually ended well that I anticipated I would enjoy my week-end fully. I had dinner and drinks with ex-colleagues (a French couple from Mauritius and one Singaporean lady.) I can't believe until now that the four of us finished 3 bottles of red wine. The wine was recommended by the restaurant and was really good that we ordered a bottle of the same wine three times. Anyway, talking and chatting for more than 3 hours (with 3 bottles of wine), of course nobody got drunk. And the four of us were still able to walk to the taxi stand properly. It was such a good catch-up session with ex-colleagues whom i am not able to see for a long time.

Talking about wine... I don't mind drinking wine once in a while in moderation, after all, wine is scientifically proven to be good for our health. Red wine is good for our heart and it clears cholesterol in our veins while White wine is good for our lungs and joints.

Actually, I started to be interested in wines because of my job. For many years now, I have been attending functions and cocktails so I could not avoid taking champagne, red wine or white wine. They're always a part of every company function and no matter how I refused to take it before, time came that I could not refuse anymore. Therefore, I made some research on the benefits of drinking wine in moderation and I even attended a wine appreciation course. That is, to motivate myself to like it.

Nowadays, I can appreciate it well and I would be able to tell when a wine is good or not and which type should go with whatever kind of food. But at the end of the day, you would know if the wine you picked was good if it would not change the taste of the food you're eating with it, but rather complements it by enabling the food taste come out. Moreover, it should be smooth on your tongue and throat and should not make you frown. It should not make your tummy sour too.

Well, I can talk so many things about wine and I could recommend some good ones too but I am quite sleepy now so just leave a comment if you need more info. As I said, I had a very busy and stressful week and I am happy to have ended it with good wine in the company of good friends.