Friday, May 28, 2010

Laughing at our past mistakes and bad experiences

I just came back from a night out with my new-found friends. There were 8 of us, all women who are working in HR of different multi-national companies. At 50, I am the eldest of them all and the youngest is one who's 30,about two years younger than my eldest daughter.

I was so delighted that we all connected with each other instantly after starting to network through LinkedIn and word-of mouth. But actually, we did not talk about our jobs... we talked about our lives.

I was so delighted to find that each of us could just share our past mistakes and bad experiences openly with laughter and sense of humour. We seriously picked up learning from each other's stories and were all amazed about life's realities yet we all realized that sharing sad stories openly with no bitterness and shame is a proof of contentment, happiness and wisdom.

In fact, I think we were able to share openly with each other because all of us confidently know that because of what we achieved and where we are now, the past could be forgotten as if they never had happened.

The lesson we had proven? Whatever bad situation you are in will pass. Try to recover from it and strive to be successful. When you are successful, people will see your success and forget about the past.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers' Day!

At 630am today I heard the sound of my phone indicating an sms message, and another one followed, and another and another. I have no choice but to open my eyes and pick up my mobile phone. With sleepy eyes, i tried to read the messages, one after another... they were all Mothers' Day greetings from my husband, my eldest daughter and one of my best friend. Then messages from friends also poured in. Therefore, I thought, it's Mother's Day so I need to greet other mothers I know as well.

So sitting on my bed, I also started to send Mothers' Day greetings to all mothers whom I know. My daughter, my daughter in law, my mother in law, my friends, colleagues, etc..and i realized that i am exchanging greetings with fellow moms like me. We were greeting each other and motivating each other. It was indeed a good feeling, that it's not only our husbands and children who appreciate mothers, mothers appreciate other mothers too.

My two children and a guest, spent today celebrating Mothers' Day. We had buffet lunch, we went to church, shopped and had dinner as well. The church service theme was about Mother's Day, the mall was just full of families together and the restaurants were crowded with mothers with their children and some with grandchildren too. It was a great day. After all, the world still appreciates mothers and everybody knows that mothers are special beings, worthy of appreciation.

But in my mind, if only to give proper credit to all mothers and their role in our lives? it should be mothers' day everyday.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Reality

As a result of the series of Succession Planning meetings I did late last year with our Country Heads, one developmental area that I saw in few of our key successors is the lack of inter-cultural awareness. Being a multi-national company operating in a multi-cultural region, it is indeed very important for our company to ensure that our key talents, managers and executives know how to work, manage and communicate in a multi-cultural setting. I therefore proposed to introduce coaching for a few individuals who I believe would benefit from it.

This afternoon, me and my boss met up with the coach for a preparatory discussion. The coach requested us for some information about each coachee so we briefed him on the background, characteristics and prevailing issues we are aware of.

The meeting was quite mind-boggling for me. We were asked by the coach about the "hopeful changes" that we want to see in each coachee and that's when I realized that we need to be "critical yet objective" of each. Each coachee is different from the other and that made our discussion quite a difficult one.

But the most difficult partwas when I asked the coach how we could properly communicate the plan to each identified coachee without offending them. All these few identified coachees are very talented and valuable employees who may have a different view of themselves, and the last thing they would appreciate is to be told that they need coaching on areas that they need to improve.

The coach advised us on how to communicate and set the context that will be accepted and appreciated by the coachee and I remembered two major phrases we need to use when communicating to each coachee, the following were just a few excerpts:

"You are doing well in your current job but we want to see you to be more successful in the future. We value you a lot and we want to fully support you to ensure your success with us. We propose that you take on coaching on...."

I asked the coach,"what if they don't believe that they really have some developmental areas?"

The coach answered, "Then you need to let them see their reality."

And "what's that?" I asked.

The coach answered, "For every human being, the reality is how the people around them perceive him or her. If for example everybody perceives a person as "arrogant" then the reality is he is arrogant. If one is perceived as meticulous and difficult to please, then that person is meticulous and difficult to please."

Well, at the end of the meeting, I went to the ladies room, faced the mirror and asked myself, "what about me? how do people around me perceive me?"

I want to know my reality. And tomorrow, I may start asking those close to me to tell me honestly as nobody may readily give me objective feedback than those who care for me.

In that context, I think that each of us need to know our reality, don't you agree?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Wine talk

I had a very, very busy week, it was quite extra-ordinary. But it actually ended well that I anticipated I would enjoy my week-end fully. I had dinner and drinks with ex-colleagues (a French couple from Mauritius and one Singaporean lady.) I can't believe until now that the four of us finished 3 bottles of red wine. The wine was recommended by the restaurant and was really good that we ordered a bottle of the same wine three times. Anyway, talking and chatting for more than 3 hours (with 3 bottles of wine), of course nobody got drunk. And the four of us were still able to walk to the taxi stand properly. It was such a good catch-up session with ex-colleagues whom i am not able to see for a long time.

Talking about wine... I don't mind drinking wine once in a while in moderation, after all, wine is scientifically proven to be good for our health. Red wine is good for our heart and it clears cholesterol in our veins while White wine is good for our lungs and joints.

Actually, I started to be interested in wines because of my job. For many years now, I have been attending functions and cocktails so I could not avoid taking champagne, red wine or white wine. They're always a part of every company function and no matter how I refused to take it before, time came that I could not refuse anymore. Therefore, I made some research on the benefits of drinking wine in moderation and I even attended a wine appreciation course. That is, to motivate myself to like it.

Nowadays, I can appreciate it well and I would be able to tell when a wine is good or not and which type should go with whatever kind of food. But at the end of the day, you would know if the wine you picked was good if it would not change the taste of the food you're eating with it, but rather complements it by enabling the food taste come out. Moreover, it should be smooth on your tongue and throat and should not make you frown. It should not make your tummy sour too.

Well, I can talk so many things about wine and I could recommend some good ones too but I am quite sleepy now so just leave a comment if you need more info. As I said, I had a very busy and stressful week and I am happy to have ended it with good wine in the company of good friends.