The Reality

As a result of the series of Succession Planning meetings I did late last year with our Country Heads, one developmental area that I saw in few of our key successors is the lack of inter-cultural awareness. Being a multi-national company operating in a multi-cultural region, it is indeed very important for our company to ensure that our key talents, managers and executives know how to work, manage and communicate in a multi-cultural setting. I therefore proposed to introduce coaching for a few individuals who I believe would benefit from it.

This afternoon, me and my boss met up with the coach for a preparatory discussion. The coach requested us for some information about each coachee so we briefed him on the background, characteristics and prevailing issues we are aware of.

The meeting was quite mind-boggling for me. We were asked by the coach about the "hopeful changes" that we want to see in each coachee and that's when I realized that we need to be "critical yet objective" of each. Each coachee is different from the other and that made our discussion quite a difficult one.

But the most difficult partwas when I asked the coach how we could properly communicate the plan to each identified coachee without offending them. All these few identified coachees are very talented and valuable employees who may have a different view of themselves, and the last thing they would appreciate is to be told that they need coaching on areas that they need to improve.

The coach advised us on how to communicate and set the context that will be accepted and appreciated by the coachee and I remembered two major phrases we need to use when communicating to each coachee, the following were just a few excerpts:

"You are doing well in your current job but we want to see you to be more successful in the future. We value you a lot and we want to fully support you to ensure your success with us. We propose that you take on coaching on...."

I asked the coach,"what if they don't believe that they really have some developmental areas?"

The coach answered, "Then you need to let them see their reality."

And "what's that?" I asked.

The coach answered, "For every human being, the reality is how the people around them perceive him or her. If for example everybody perceives a person as "arrogant" then the reality is he is arrogant. If one is perceived as meticulous and difficult to please, then that person is meticulous and difficult to please."

Well, at the end of the meeting, I went to the ladies room, faced the mirror and asked myself, "what about me? how do people around me perceive me?"

I want to know my reality. And tomorrow, I may start asking those close to me to tell me honestly as nobody may readily give me objective feedback than those who care for me.

In that context, I think that each of us need to know our reality, don't you agree?